I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
