i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
they're like a gay fantastic four
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
