And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
