i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
