there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize