He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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