My room smells like vodka and shame
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ladies don't puke and tell
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