nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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