Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
