Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
