You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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