That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
