I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize