So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
