the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
