Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
