im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just found puke in my bra..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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