so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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