lets start a swedish sibling band together
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
