WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
