You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
