It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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