Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
