I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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