This girl is more easily done than said...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
