You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize