did you get engaged???
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
