just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
