so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
