you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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