so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
