you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight