You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration