im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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