Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
