wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
