The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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