I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
