Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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