Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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