Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you traded sex for a burrito?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
