The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Randomize
