we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
