Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize