Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
