Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
