if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The beer is more important than you right now.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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