So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
