what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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