I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
