i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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