You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize