...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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