Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
