so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
