So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
