Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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