Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
