If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
